bring it on.

apparently life has not decided to throw me a bone in a while. not a bone, not a stick, not even one of those really cute rubber toys in the shape of a newspaper. so, i have just recently decided to respond to life with a simple "screw you." i never really liked it anyway. i don't remember the last time i was truly happy for more than a week at a time. i just want to go to sleep and wake up in a few years. when i'm older and none of this will matter anymore. when all of my friends have drifted away at their respective universities to become hotshot doctors, lawyers, or whatever else they are striving to achieve, and we struggle to remember the names of the annoying people we thought we'd never forget.

none of this will matter in a few years.

f' you, life. here is my middle finger. sincerely, with the deepest and purest emotions one could have, i offer it up to you. i hope you see it.

because you know what, i'm sick of everything and everyone. find me a padded cell with a bathroom, or a quiet tribe in zimbabwe; i'll be the first to sign up. i laugh at my over-dramatic-ness but sometimes it's just so appropriate, don't you agree?

why can't we all just get along? apparently it's impossible. i create my own drama is the word on the street. i'm complicated. sorry to say that's the way god made me, so i guess we're all screwed. well, it's either god, or my childhood living with my mom. either way.

who wants everything and nothing at the same time? [...i want what's yours and i, want what's mine, i want you, but i'm not giving in this time... sorry... michelle branch digression for a second...] so i know i'm a bitch at some points in my life, and i know i'm sometimes the stereotype of a selfish only child. well, then let's vote that someone in the world makes lauren snap out of it. i vote someone makes me pull my head out of my ass [insert a plethora of f-words in there... i think i get in trouble if i post them...] and then i agree and i shape up. i'm not normal. i'm sincerely f'ed up to be honest with you. [side note disclaimer~~ i know i haven't had it badly at all, for those of you who were in an orphanage or were raped or you had to live in the basement with chickens b/c your parents didn't love you... i know i have it good compared to most. but sometimes, i just need to flip out. you know? fyi.] however. i do not think i deserve assumptions. don't make assumptions about what i want to do with my life and i won't do it back. don't assume i want to just f'ing... well... f' someone just because. that's dumb. 'give me just one inch or two, i swear that's all i need.'

i am currently removing myself from civilization... sort of... and reading a book quietly at my house in waukesha. i didn't go to school today. i don't want to go tomorrow.

harumph.