and the exhaustion creeps in.

bear with me, i can barely see straight [and for the record, i just spelt that "bearly", looked at it for 30 seconds and decided it was incorrect, finally coming up with the correct spelling. there's something wrong with me lately.]. this weekend, more than most for some reason, has sucked every ounce of energy and otherwise awake-ness out of me.

alright so i have had this conversation with a few people now, and thought that once the number of people reached three, it was blog-worthy. so:

can you differentiate between someone that wants to pursue a friendship with you and someone that wants to pursue a more, shall we say, intimate relationship?

it seems to be a skill much more difficult to master than it should be.

i remember when i first got to college, for the first time in ages i was single, and, out of habit, didn't expect boys to want anything more than friendship from me. since i was single [and a freshman], it was open season for the creepy guys to say what they would to me, sit next to me in class, and otherwise be pretty straightforward about whatever it was that they wanted from me. i didn't really catch on. people had to alert me that boys were attempting to hit on me. maybe it was the environment, maybe it was my denial. either way, i was in new territory.

older still, i think it's impossible. the boys have told me that they can almost always tell when another guy is going for a girl. but seriously, what if he just thinks she's cool? where is that distinction? i mean, it's sort of a scary thought... to not be aware, to not know what's going on. jason says it's probably more so just emotions getting in the way... over-analyzing everything someone does, that leads you to second guess it all, which i guess is accurate. but still.

i started thinking about this thanks to meghan, for the most part. a story of semi-unrequited love that she thought wasn't so unrequited. you see, if you take someone as though they're attracted to you and you're wrong... you look like an idiot if you express the assumed mutual feelings you have. and if you don't see it, and ignore it... you look like an idiot for thinking someone is like your "brother" [or sister], or someone you met that you happen to get along with really well.

i think i've exhausted this topic like it's my job in life the past few days, but it was really brett that decided that it's just too much work. getting to know people, attempting to figure out what they want from you just from talking to them? who wants to do that in life? dating's dumb. [it's not really, i thoroughly enjoy it most of the time to be honest. i wish i thought it was dumb.] it's scary to think about, i can't even get over it. either way you take it, you look like an idiot if you're wrong about someone.

i guess the solution would be to just stop talking to the opposite sex. however, since that is pretty much my addiction in life, i don't think it's going to happen too soon, but we'll see. maybe someone will just fall into our lap and we'll just know. no more thinking.

i am exhausted. through and through.