beep beep. beep.

i wasn't going to say anything, and pretend i was going to die, but i don't think that would work, so i've decided to come clean.

i have a birth defect in my heart.

it's very unexciting; i've had it all my life, it's just that now the equipment is more apt to tell me exactly what's wrong with me, as opposed to when i was eleven, and no one really knew what to do with me. something about... well, i don't really know. i didn't pay attention when the guy was talking. i was already fairly traumatized after having to bend over to touch my toes, wearing an open cloth gown, while he stood behind me, supposedly re-positioning my heart, or checking out my spine, i don't really know.

either way.

along with this new technology comes a heart moniter. a contraption i will have to wear every day for the next month of my life. now, i don't receive this device until monday, but they tell me that it includes some sticker things that i can take off when i sleep, but must reapply everyday, connected to some sort of beeper. this, my friends, is a nightmare.

and if people keep making fun of me for it, scaring me by saying this beeper-thingy is going to be a foot long, or making loud beeping sounds in the middle of class, i am going to throw it at them.

if you happen to see me, in all my dorky glory, attempting to hide a pager-looking thing on my hip, i will be expecting your giggles.

ugh. horrific.