happy halmark holiday.

love. sort of a frequent topic in most of these for me, isn't it? well, i can't help it. one way or another, it consumes me. this is my holiday!

i was just in the bathroom, ran into amanda, and was asked what i was doing for valentine's day. sadly enough my answer was "uh... nothing."

karsten would always tell me i was in love with love. as cynical as i am, i still like to pretend that it's possible for some people to be happy; to be in a kind of love that the majority of people don't find. maybe it's so entertaining to watch or read about because it's so unrealistic. either way, i love it. i strive for it. i live for love. it's more fun that way.

this is the first valentine's day in four years i haven't done a single thing for. ignored it all. forgot about it to be honest with you. life stepped in; i was too busy to notice; i didn't have anything to notice, i suppose, with the exception of a card or two i got in the mail, much appreciated gestures as well as a vague reminder of where my head's supposed to be.

you know, people give valentine's day a bad rep for being a made up holiday [which it might be, but i always thought there was a saint valentine. i could be making that up, however.], but generally those people are the crotchety ones that are just pissed off that no one wants to be their "valentine". the reality of it is that it is simply a day of love. you can spend it with whomever makes you happy. you can go out with friends or family. you could sit by yourself and bask in the fact that you are happy with yourself. it's just another day... a day where more people than usual wear red or pink. but they're dorks.

for some reason, this year, it's just another day to me, and that is something i haven't been able to say in a long time. i guess considering i can't hate the holiday, and am not celebrating it, what else is there to do.

[sigh.]

who wants to be my valentine?