artificial sweetness.

i was once complimented by some girl. it shouldn't mean anything, and i'm not really sure why exactly i remember every detail of it but i can't help it.

so junior year of highschool i was standing in the bathroom putting on carmex or something of the sort. in walks this girl. a year older than me, someone i had never paid much attention to unless she was right in front of me. she washes her hands, turns to me, and says, "that's such a cute shirt!"

insert picture of lauren's shirt: oversized t-shirt. navy blue. all it says on it is "dream team" in white letters. nothing fancy or unique or enviable in this one, folks. simply unattractive to be quite honest with you.

b/c of it's dull appearance, i looked at her funny. "umm... thanks."

"where did you get it?!"

okay, seriously. the t-shirt was acquired b/c my boyfriend at the time was on an intramural team. his dad sponsored them so i got a shirt. it's dumb. i mean, i enjoy the shirt, it's comfortable, but no one else in their right mind would ever think to call it "cute", let alone ask how i got it.

i sort of explained where i got it and when she left i sort of stared at myself in the mirror for a second, trying to see if i could comprehend why someone would think to go out of their way to talk to me about it. my initials that were on the back had pen outlines from where andrew thought it would be funny to color. it was too big. it wasn't colorful or vintage, nor did it have a cute picture or design on it.

i guess i remember it so well because i took it as a sort of condescending compliment. something like wow you're so unattractive i'm going to pretend i really like your ugly shirt. i mean seriously, at least try to talk about my hair or my eye makeup; something that i might be able to believe, or at least debate in my head as to whether or not it was accurate.

i was talking to my friend the other day and explained a few other times i have run into this girl, and we decided together that she must just be an idiot. she's not a mean girl, in fact, she's overly friendly. her job makes me laugh, and it just sounds accurate to think that she's just such an idiot that maybe she doesn't even know what she says.

i wanted to share this with you because people have talked to me about it recently, and also because i think that everyone should just avoid the whole artificial compliment scene. it's stupid and accomplishes nothing. don't say anything unless it's sincere, you know? most of the time you'll just look condescending anyway. one of the worst feelings in the world for me is having someone say something nice and thinking they're just making fun of you. so sad.

avoid the sweet n low.