nothing to say.

so i'm having a bad day. i'm sick, stressed out, and tired b/c of the first two. i've been looking for consistency, and have been getting lost. i've been sad and lonely and i think that's why i'm angry as well. because of this, i'm giving you a disclaimer for this entry: i love everyone i talk to. truly. without you, my life wouldn't be what it is now. and although that may not be saying a lot, it is.

so, read with caution. i'm crabby. try not to start talking about it.

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i just want to know something. I've been curious for awhile, and used to think people were just simply mean, but i've realized lately it's more than that i think.

why is it that everyone around me always has something to say?

i can understand if you don't like someone with validity, or choose to call them "dickhead" instead of using their real name out of pure hatred, but what happens when perfectly normal people find themselves the topic of excess conversation?

no one's perfect, i will be the first to tell you from experience. sometimes you've just gotta talk. but when you find yourself listening to people scraping things from the bottom of the barrel to say about other people, there's something wrong.

i'm only now starting to worry about what these people have to say about me.

i always thought that since i was the girl, i just happened to hear everyone's thoughts on everyone else. i blended in, and everyone's stories and opinions just happen to start overlapping. random boy talk, whatever. lately, i'm seriously considering what everyone is thinking.

if you're reading this, you're most likely my friend, and consequently may get offended by this entry... but seriously, think it over. when do you not have an opinion of the ones you hang out with? it's their life, not yours.

it's not just one person doing this. everyone i know has an opinion about everyone else. i just wish someone would tell me to my face, instead of to everyone else. i see people talk so much crap about someone else, then accompany them somewhere, or otherwise befriend them to their face, maybe even join in when they start opinionating about someone else. buddy buddy it would seem. alas, they'll just start the opinions again once alone. is everyone in the world like this?

i'm starting to see why people withhold the truth. people talk. if someone has sex, three days later everyone knows unless the two people have none of the same friends and refuse to tell anyone at all. if someone fights [actually fights, face to face, none of this crap b/h the back shit], it's hard to hide from everyone, unless you're only friends with the most unobservant people ever. when we find out about these things, i guess it's easier to talk about and judge than our own lives? is that why people continue doing it? i'm just flabbergasted.

again, i can understand venting about someone. if you're annoyed, fine. but why does everyone always have SOMETHING to say?? it's not your life. if you are not directly affected by it, who cares? don't be friends with them if you're going to have an opinion about it. we do what we want, and don't need you to agree or disagree.

thanks and have a great day.