ani-mate-ing

just an fyi:

i was watching a show on the animal planet the other day, i couldn't tell you what it was called nor what it was really about, but the five minutes i watched before turning away focused on mating koala bears. i understand that in certain circumstances, some animals may need help procreating, but it seems like a terrible time if you're a female.

the zookeepers featured in this show would simply place a female on a branch of some sort until she hung on, then hook a male koala on the same branch right on top of the female's bottom. she would just sit there, and either the male would take her or just climb slowly down to a different section, probably making her feel terrible about herself.

the first mate was apparently not good enough for mr. male, so they simply replaced her with another girl. tried again, failed. the keepers proceeded to blame the branch, and put both koalas on a different log.

i was driving home from school a couple of days later, and in passing a dairy farm, was lucky enough to see a herd of cows surrounding a mounted female. by mounted, i mean she was just moseying along, minding her own business, doing cow-ish things, and a random cow reared up just enough to get on her back. she just kept moseying along until he'd fall off, and he'd have to try again.

today, i was letting my dog outside and on the screen door was a box elder bug [i think that's what they're called; scary black and red things that invade my yard] latching on to the back of another, who was trying to have none of it, scurrying along trying to knock him off.

i kid you not, these have really been in my life. i don't know if this is just the season to get busy, but it really makes me happy to be a human. i mean, if i were just on the street, stopping to look at a window display, and some guy liked the perfume i was wearing or something and proceeded to mount me, penis out, i'd take issue with that. file a report or something.

these poor female animals have no choice. they're just minding their own business until, bang, something is trying to get them pregnant. it's all just so shocking to me.

i wonder if they're cynical, or if they'd roll their eyes if they were capable of it.

just another reason why the male species of pretty much everything is unreliable. and selfish.

what's the animal that mates for life? geese? if i have to come back someday as an animal, i'd like to be one of those.