let's play make believe.

lately i've been pretending.

i pretend he misses me. not necessarily as a girlfriend. more like... a person. his "person" - the go-to.

this helps me, because i miss lots of things, but pretend i miss almost nothing.

i miss my best friend. i know it was time, but i miss him as that.

i regret not telling him i love him. that he's my best friend. that i agree with him - almost everything he said. i let him go, as i should, but i didn't kiss him goodbye. i admit i'm sorry.

i pretend sometimes at night that he knows i miss talking about my highlight of the day (even if i didn't have one), because i like to pretend he misses hearing about it.

i pretend other people care when i tell them about the joke i made in class. that maybe they'll be proud of it, or care that i single-handedly made my class laugh.

i make believe that one day we will sit down and talk, and remember our time, and be glad it was there. that maybe we will appreciate eachother for what we were, and the things we learned.

i make believe that he remembers good things, and doesn't bitch about the bad.

i genuinely hope that he remembers good things.

i pretend i will find someone like him someday.