curious.

being home forces me to constantly reminisce about my past life, b/c i am constantly being bombarded with items that remind me of it.

my mom handed me a box the other day and asked me to go through it and throw away the silly things i didn't need anymore.

i found a number of emails from my first "boyfriend" [i use the term loosely here, for i'm fairly certain the extent of our relationship was said emails and misc. notes passed in the hallway. thrilling.]. they complained that i never talked about my feelings, he never knew what i was thinking, i needed to open up, etc. granted, we were 14.

however, i also found notes from my sophomore year of high school from a different guy that said he didn't understand me b/c i never talked to him. what was i thinking? how did i feel?

curious that i would find these things b/c i have always thought myself to be someone that talks almost incessantly about how i feel, what's going on in my head, etc.

is it possible that i used to be so closed off that these relationships changed who i was? if they wouldn't've complained to me, would i not be so... emotional? or, rather, willing to discuss said emotions?

anyone that knows me now would say i'm a talker. an over-analyzer. i'm 98% positive that my last boyfriend would laugh in my face if i told him that i used to never talk about my feelings.

curious.