home alone.

how to take care of 12-year-old dog while mom is on her 342343134th cruise:

1. wake up at 8am to let dog outside after incessant bell-ringing. [yes, this dog rings a cow bell for a solid 15 minutes until someone lets him outside.]
2. feed dog.
3. give dog white pill number one.
4. go back to sleep.
5. let dog out once awake again.
6. give 3-5 ear drops from white bottle.
7. let dog out.
8. using latex gloves, rinse ears out using solution in tall, clear bottle, taking care to dry thoroughly.
9. give dog 3/4 of an orange pill.
10. let dog out.
11. give dog white pill number two.
12. let dog out.
13. feed dog.

repeat for the next 11 days.

dwight shrute would for sure put this guy in the freezer:(