where the flip did winter come from??

according to weather.com this morning when i got to school, it was 13 degrees, but felt like -1.

there's all this snow, all at once... and it feels like it was 45 degrees a week ago.

it really is beginning to look a lot like christmas, and because of that, i'm starting to freak out/stress out about the fact that i have done zero things re: gifting family. well, i accidentally came across something for my dad at halmark, but other than that, i have nothing. yikes.

this week has been a slow one for me. i'm not sure if it was because it was the first full week after thanksgiving break, or because it's getting so cold, or because i need to get more sleep... but it's been long, and i'm ready for the weekend and to move on.

my students have been a little more subdued this week as well... i think they're still in turkey comas from a week ago, and i do not expect it to continue into next week.

as a side note, speaking of school, we have off of school on inauguration day, which happens to be the day after martin luther king, jr. day... so hooray having a monday and tuesday off in january.

i left school around noon today to hike to chris's; he just lost his back up job and was consequently home for the day, obviously unhappy, so we had a play day where we could watch tv, nap and other misc. things. it was a lovely eight hours.

i saw a stack of a printed photo of us on his kitchen table next to his family's thanksgiving pictures and chris picked them up and said, "oh yeah, we're going in christmas cards this year; hope you don't mind..." (cropped and with a pretty white, official-looking border, but still with booze in the background.) i've never been in someone else's christmas cards to family and friends, and it makes me feel even more as though i'm where i belong.

i laughed at the fact that it was no big deal to any of them, that it's just what they do - family and friends are kept informed. maybe it's not anything to them, but it was kind of a deal to me. it was surprising in a good way - i'm a girl, and things like that make me happy.

stay warm.

ps - the office? hilarious.

i have gained approximately eight pounds.

i'm not sure when this occurred exactly, but i'm definitely starting to see, and feel, the effects.

i have eaten culver's chili cheese fries more times than i can count in any given three month period since i was 15. why three months? because i could probably count any time span less than that. [anywhere from three to eight times a month.] okay, so i could probably count three months. it's a rarity if i go one week without ordering the comfort-snack.

even this picture makes my mouth water.

it may sound gross, but to me it's delicious, and has never mattered before this school year. maybe it's because i no longer go to college and consequently no longer do things like walk more than the distance from my classroom to the copy machine, maybe it's because i'm getting older, maybe it's because my body is just finally saying 'enough'. either way, i used to revel in the fact that i could eat most anything while others sometimes had to watch it.

obviously i was never hard as a rock, fit as a fiddle, or toned whatsoever; i've always been soft all over, but never too self conscious about anything.

maybe the fact that i eat more than my boyfriend has something to do with my new-found self-consciousness, although i feel as though that's been the case since i was 16. maybe it is the fact that he makes an effort to go to the gym multiple times a week, while i hit the culver's drive-thru again. or maybe it's just the simple fact that i can't walk up the three flights of stairs when i substitute on the third floor without getting seriously winded and stopping at the bubbler.

regardless of what it is, i don't like it.

however, i've never had the willpower to do pretty much anything, let alone set myself up with a workout/diet plan. i don't even necessarily want to lose boatloads of weight, i just don't want to gain anymore weight.

everyday i say to myself, 'tomorrow i will have smaller portions... but today i'll have six pieces of pizza and an entire bag of ceasar salad.' who am i?! it's like i'm eating to get into the higher weight class in wrestling.

ah well. maybe... next week i'll start looking at gym packages.